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This is Herbie Hardcheese, TIC’s Election-2012 reporter, here in the Oval Office for an exclusive interview with President Barack Obama. Mister President, what do you make of the Republican nomination process so far?

Obama: Herbie, I’m glad you asked me that question.

exclusive interview with president

The gingham dog and the calico cat
Side by side on the table sat;
‘T was half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)
Nor one nor t’ other had slept a wink!
The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plate
Appeared to know as sure as fate
There was going to be a terrible spat.
(I wasn’t there; I simply state
What was told to me by the Chinese plate!)

Herbie: Do you mean that you expect the campaign tensions to increase?

Obama: Herbie, I’m glad you asked me that question.

The gingham dog went “Bow-wow-wow!”
And the calico cat replied “Mee-ow!”
The air was littered, an hour or so,
With bits of gingham and calico,
While the old Dutch clock in the chimney-place
Up with its hands before its face,
For it always dreaded a family row!
(Now mind: I ‘m only telling you
What the old Dutch clock declares is true!)

Herbie: Sir, when you say Dutch are you citing the Netherlands Information Service?

Obama: Herbie, I’m glad you asked me that question.

The Chinese plate looked very blue,
And wailed, “Oh, dear! what shall we do!”
But the gingham dog and the calico cat
Wallowed this way and tumbled that,
Employing every tooth and claw
In the awfullest way you ever saw—
And, oh! how the gingham and calico flew!
(Don’t fancy I exaggerate—
I got my news from the Chinese plate!)

Herbie: Mister President, does Beijing, presumably the Chinese plate, prefer a second Obama Administration to anything Republican despite today’s strained Sino-American relations?

Obama: Herbie, I’m glad you asked me that question.

exclusive interview with presidentNext morning, where the two had sat
They found no trace of dog or cat;
And some folks think unto this day
That burglars stole that pair away!
But the truth about the cat and pup
Is this: they ate each other up!
Now what do you really think of that!
(The old Dutch clock it told me so,
And that is how I came to know.)

Herbie: Would you please explain?

Obama: I mean, Herbie my man, that you’re welcome to come to the White House and see me anytime through 2018. Good talking to you!

Herbie: Thank you, Mister President. (to camera) This is Herbie Hardcheese for The Imaginative Conservative, bringing you up-to-the-minute changes in The Permanent Things.

(Thanks to Eugene Field, 1850-1895).

For more on American Politics and the Presidency visit The Imaginative Conservative Bookstore.

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Published: Jan 22, 2012
W. Winston Elliott III
W. Winston Elliott III is President of The Free Enterprise Institute, Editor of Imaginative Conservative Books and Editor-in-Chief of The Imaginative Conservative. Mr. Elliott is Visiting Professor of Liberal Arts and Conservative Thought at Houston Baptist University. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in History from Washington College and a Masters of Business Administration, with Honors, from the University of Houston.
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